


I Wanted to Hurt You

by Drabbles_Of_Writing



Series: Uncursed AU [5]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aunt Lilith, Curses, Daddy Issues, Eda is a milf I don't make the rules, Family Bonding, Mom Eda, Other, Sibling Bonding, Sister-Sister Relationship, Uncursed AU, Young Blood Old Souls, agony of a witch, but like minor, its SISTER TIME LADS, they having trauma and trying to make it work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26312737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drabbles_Of_Writing/pseuds/Drabbles_Of_Writing
Summary: Lilith and Eda talk about what happened in the Emperor's Coven that day,Lilith begins to realize she wasn't the best sister.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne
Series: Uncursed AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903108
Comments: 14
Kudos: 212





	I Wanted to Hurt You

**Author's Note:**

> So to explain: The whole thing with the Emperor's Coven ended with Belos cursing Eda's magic to dwindle severely. Lilith shared the curse so now it's smaller for both of them and is also a lot slower. But eventually they're bile sacs will run dry of magic completely and they'll be stuck using glyphs. The single gray eyes are a byproduct of the curse.

The night after escaping Emperor Belos was a quiet one. Which was a relief to everyone.

They needed it.

Lilith had flown onto the roof of the Owl House and sat there, knees close to her chest and arms crossed over them.

She had a lot to think about.

Mainly the fact she’d have to limit her magic now. What with Emperor Belos’ curse that would inevitably suck both her and Eda dry, it was best to save what little she had for emergencies.

But there were other thoughts, too.

How was she going to train Amity? 

Would she live at the Owl House?

Was she a wanted criminal now?

Did she have to learn glyph magic from Luz?

Would she ever get her magic back?

Was she even welcome? After all she’d done?

She didn’t think she should be.

Lilith was mulling over these thoughts in silence when she heard the clacking of heels behind her.

She whirled around, startled.

“Sup,” Eda greeted, holding her staff at her side as she walked over, sitting down beside her sister in a much more relaxed manner with one leg bent. She set her staff down next to her.

“Oh, hello, Eda.” Lilith gave her a stiff nod before turning back to her original position.

“I was wondering where you’d gone to. Felt the need to have a brooding session?” Eda teased, sporting a grin.

“I just have a lot on my mind, thank you.” Lilith said curtly. “As should you.”

“Eh, reassuring Luz helps reassure myself. Or it puts me further in denial. I can't tell.” She shrugged.

“You worry me, Edalyn.” Lilith sighed, shoulders slumping.

“Don’t say that,” Eda cringed. “You sound like  _ dad.” _

“Well, maybe he had a point.” Lilith shot back, rolling her eyes. “You give me a lot of things to worry about.”

“Don’t even worry about it, we’ll be  _ fine.” _ Eda said, bumping her sister's shoulder. “Learning a new type of magic shouldn’t be too hard for ya. Or does  _ Lilith Clawthorne  _ not know how to cope with new situations?”

“Oh you shut it.” Lilith huffed, finally looking at her sister with a mildly annoyed expression. “You and I both know your deflecting so you don’t have to dwell on your own fears.”

“...I mean, you’re right, but that doesn’t mean you have to  _ say _ it.” Eda grumbled, ears flicking as she drew in her unbent leg.

“It’s my job,” Lilith smiled softly before it fell.

The two sat in silence for a little while, simply looking out at the starry sky above them. They could faintly hear the insects beneath the house, which were probably being consumed by Hooty, the horrendous freak of nature.

“I’m sorry,” Lilith finally said, pulling her knees closer to herself.

“What?” Eda blinked, turning to her. She had a moment of realization a second later.

“Oh, you mean you’re sorry for letting Belos kidnap Luz, use her to lure me out, and then fighting me before cheating and encasing me in a prison so I could become petrified and only stepping up when Luz was in  _ immediate _ danger?”

Lilith flinched at every new crime, curling further in on herself.

“...yes, I am.” Lilith said quietly. “For that and...much, much more.”

“Eh, we’ve all made a mistake or ten.” Eda said, though the bitterness in her voice didn’t escape Lilith’s ears. “But don’t think I’m letting you off the hook! You’re getting put on chore duty until I see fit.” She taunted.

Lilith blinked and raised her head, giving her sister a bewildered look.

“That...that’s  _ it?” _ She looked around like she thought it was some elaborate joke. “After  _ everything _ I’ve done,  _ that’s  _ what you’re punishing me with?”

“What else can I do, exactly?” Eda inquired. “There’s not much I can do that’s worse than what’s already happened to you.”

Lilith looked away.

“Granted,” Eda added soon after. “I’m still  _ livid _ at you. And you better not expect me to trust you with  _ anything _ anytime soon.” She warned, her face finally serious. 

“I know,” Lilith breathed, resting her chin on her knees. “And I would expect nothing less of you. I take whatever punishment you have for me.”

“Good, because they’re  _ all _ going to be humiliating.” Eda said, a hint of a tease back in her tone.

“Of course,” Lilith muttered. “Does,” She swallowed nervously. “Does this mean I can...stay?”

“Uh, duh?” Eda snorted. “What, you think I’m gonna kick you out on the street? I seem to recall a time you had to house  _ me. _ Call it making it even.” She said with a wave of her hand.

“I appreciate it,” Lilith nodded, relieved.

The two fell into a neutral silence for a little bit. Though this one was noticeably shorter than the other.

Lilith fiddled with her sleeve for a moment, thinking over things in her head before she inhaled and nervously glanced at her sister.

“I…” She cleared her throat. “I should tell you...about what Kikimora meant when she said I failed to do what I had to in order to...get as far as I did.”

“I  _ was  _ wondering about that,” Eda agreed, giving her sister a once-over. “I thought it was, like, jailing other witches like me.”

“No, no,” Lilith murmured, shaking her head slightly. “This was far,  _ far _ earlier. Before the Emperor’s Coven itself. I don’t know how Belos knew, but…”

Eda flicked up an ear, curious now. Lilith took a deep breath and faced her sister, swallowing down the guilt and sorrow, though it showed on her features.

“Once...I--I tried to curse you.”

For a brief moment, the only sound was the wind through the trees.

“You...you what?” Eda asked, voice uncharacteristically quiet.

“Back when we were trying out for the Emperor’s Coven,” Lilith explained, refusing to meet her little sister's gaze. “I had been  _ desperate _ to try and get in.” She admitted, though she knew that Eda already knew that herself.

“You were always better than me in magic, and I  _ knew _ you’d make it. And I’d be stuck having to pick a different coven.” She said, almost sneering at the thought.

“So, I...I went to the Night Market. I found someone who was selling curses.” She continued. “I found one of the worst. A curse that would transform the victim into an owl-like creature. I thought it would be fitting.” She offered a weak chuckle.

“That night, before we were to fight, I snuck into your room.” She said, holding her hands together to stop them from shaking. “I was going to curse you right then and there. I thought it wouldn’t be for that long, anyway. Just enough time to give me an upper hand.” She swallowed.

“But I...I couldn’t.” She said quietly. “I didn’t know enough about the curse to determine what would happen. I didn’t even know  _ what _ you’d look like. If it could be fixed,  _ anything. _ I wasn’t so sure I could do it anymore. And--”

“And then I woke up.”

Lilith jerked out of her trance. Eda was giving Lilith a shocked and wounded expression, one that pained her sister to look at.

“...yes, you woke up.” Lilith nodded. “I still remember what you said. You asked if I was worried about the fight tomorrow. You said that you couldn’t fight me, you never could.”

“And that I couldn’t see the point of the covens to begin with.” Eda said, voice soft. “And then I offered for you to sleep in my room that night. You accepted.” She finished.

The two stared at each other. Lilith’s expression filled with shame and regret, while Eda’s was confused and hurt.

“Eda, I’m so,  _ so _ sorry.” Lilith whispered, quickly feeling tears building up in her eyes. “I wanted to  _ hurt _ you. I was so willing to do  _ anything _ to get where you had gotten.” She raised a sleeve to wipe at her eyes.

“You were right, back when we fought. You  _ are _ better than me. Physically and morally.”

Eda looked down, mulling over what Lilith had told her. She seemed unsure of what to do, and Lilith couldn’t blame her. How do you react when your own sister admits she wanted to  _ curse _ you?

“Dad would be livid to hear you say that.” Eda finally said, refusing to meet Lilith’s teary eyes. “He would’ve said that a criminal like me shouldn’t get praise.”

“Edalyn, this isn’t  _ about _ dad!” Lilith cried.  _ “Please,  _ take this seriously! Forget what dad used to say! Scream, cry, throw me off of this roof! Do  _ something!” _ She demanded, grabbing Eda’s shoulders and turning her around so she was forced to look at her tear-streaked face.

“I tried to  _ curse _ you! I tried to  _ ruin _ you! I let the Emperor kidnap Luz, I fought you to  _ exhaustion, _ I made you think Luz’s  _ life  _ was on the line! I was going to let the Emperor  _ petrify you! _ Why can’t you look me in the eyes and tell me I’m  _ wrong?”  _ She begged.

“Everyone else is afraid to tell me that, but you’re  _ Edalyn Clawthorne. _ You--you’ve never been afraid to speak the truth in your whole life.” She choked, searching her sister’s wide gaze.

Silence.

Slowly, Eda lifted her hands to grab at Lilith’s, keeping her eyes on her.

“You’re wrong.” She said simply. “If that’s what you want to hear, then I’ll say it. You were wrong when you tried to follow the Emperor, you were wrong when you nearly let me be petrified, and you were wrong when you wanted to curse me.” She said.

“But, in the end, you didn’t.” She recalled, and Lilith’s face shifted to that of surprise. “Yes, you considered cursing me. You considered following the Emperor. You considered hurting not only me, but many,  _ many  _ people. I know you saw all the angles.”

Lilith was about to reply, but Eda continued.

“You saw what could happen and you chose  _ not _ to. It doesn’t excuse what you  _ did _ do, and how long it took you to pick a side. But what’s important to me is what you  _ didn’t _ do.” She offered a small smile.

“Lily, you could’ve made everything so,  _ so  _ much worse. And you  _ didn’t.” _

“I...I guess I didn’t.” Lilith said as Eda slowly lowered her hands off her shoulders and into the former coven-leaders lap.

“And, well, I guess a part of me understands how you got here.” Eda said, almost looking ashamed. “You were older, and dad always thought so highly of you. You  _ were _ always his favorite.”

She raised her hand to silence the defense coming from Lilith.

“Don’t lie, we  _ both _ know you were.”

Lilith slowly closed her mouth again.

“We were never rich, we never had much. Dad always expected you to become the better sister, since I obviously wasn’t going to be the well-accomplished business woman he thought.” Eda snorted and rolled her eyes.

“And..my leaving probably didn’t help much either, huh?” She admitted. 

“Refusing to join a coven and living with you, someone in the  _ Emperor’s Coven, _ can’t have been easy. I made you deal with King, I made my own weird misfit house, I’d vanish off the face of the Isles for days on end, my charges grew, and...and I kept mocking you for joining the Coven.”   


Eda’s ears drooped, and the faint grayness in her left eye flickering.

“I can see how you got here.” Eda said, finally meeting Lilith’s eyes. “Doesn’t mean it’s excusable. It’s just...well, an explanation.”

“Eda...this isn’t--”

“My fault?” Eda cut her off. “Nah, it’s alright. I know it’s partly mine. It wasn’t purposeful, and there were definitely other factors, but...yeah, I take at least a little bit of blame, even if I didn’t know it.” She said sadly.

“...I didn’t mind King.” Lily said after a moment. “But, still,” She said, drawing her hands back and looking up at her sister, forcing a smile. 

“Edalyn Clawthorne? Taking  _ blame? _ Who are you and what have you done with my little sister?” 

“Oh, quiet, you.” Eda grumbled, a playful smile gracing her lips as she shoved Lilith away. “I was trying to be touching!”

“I know, I know, and I thank you for it.” Lilith said, rubbing at her arm. “I suppose we...have a lot more to fix than we thought, don’t we?”

“Yeah,” Eda sighed, leaning back on her hands. “Guess we got more work for ourselves.” She groaned dramatically.

“Luckily for both of us, I like working.” Lilith said proudly, her chest feeling just a bit lighter.

“Great, you're doing all my homework, nerd.” Eda teased.

“Unfair!” Lilith protested as Eda giggled. “Your excuses to go off on dates don’t work here, Edalyn!”

_ “Excuse _ you! I’m still as fine as ever,” Eda protested. “Who wouldn’t want a piece of this silver fox?”

“You’re  _ forty-three, _ Eda.” Lilith deadpanned. “You're not getting gray hairs yet.”

“Then I’ll be one of those single mothers people like.” Eda said, her confidence never breaking a stride. “What are they called again? I can never remember.”

“Edalyn  _ please,” _ Lilith wheezed, covering her mouth with her hand. “Single  _ mother?” _

“Luz counts,” Eda said, crossing her arms and giving her sister a challenging look. “She’s  _ my _ kid.”

“That’s not gonna hold up in court,”

“Lucky me that I’ve got a law-abiding sister, then.” Eda said, giving her a finger gun. “I’ll make you the honorary aunt if you can get the paperwork in order.”

“Wouldn’t I  _ already _ be the aunt?” Lilith raised a brow.

“Yeah, but I can make you the  _ cool _ aunt.”

Lilith laughed then, and Eda joined in.

“Great Titan, I almost forgot how ridiculous you can be,” Lilith wheezed out.

“It’s part of the Eda charm, Libby.” Eda replied, a hand on her chest. “Maybe I could teach you sometime.”

“In your dreams,” Lilith shook her head and sat back.

Eda lay on her back as the two chuckled and looked back up at the stars.

Things weren’t perfect now. They probably wouldn’t ever be perfect, nothing really was.

But it was a start.

**Author's Note:**

> We've taken different paths  
> And travelled different roads  
> I know we'll always end up on the same one when we're old


End file.
